non c'è male
In Italian, when someone asks “how are you?” [Come sta?] the interest is in your health. A proper answer “sto bene” or “sto male”, references your general state of well-being. It puts whining about my financial aid into perspective. “Non c’é male”. I am doing “not too bad” because my heart is beating and I am eating. I can...
Just grow. Grow as much as you can without reflecting about how much growth is going on, and someday when we’re all in different places in life than we are now, maybe we’ll catch up.
Allright, just sign here agreeing to the terms of this rental and initials here...– My rocking customer service skills.
You're the first person who's ever told me that!
Customer: I was born and raised in Houston too. Graduated from University here in 1981 with a degree in finance. How about you, what's your major?
Me: Um, Art actually.
Customer: Well, good luck finding a job.
Me: Lucky for me I have a job, sir. I'm doing it right now.
harold go sit your ass down
Me: Ok, so the insurance company has you set up for a Standard size car, and right now we have on hand a Chevy HHR, would that be alright for you, ma'am?
Lady's husband: WE DONT WANT THAT UGLY ASS CAR WHAT ELSE YOU GUYS GOT? THATS ALL YOU GOT? THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
[[runs outside, shouts on cellphone unintelligibly]]
[[woman agrees HHR is fine, she is driving it not him]]
[[re-enter angry douche]]
Me: All right, we'll take a $50 deposit on this rental, will that be credit or debit?
Woman's husband: WHAT WHY? IT'S A DEBIT CARD BUT ITS THE EXACT SAME THING AS CREDIT.
Me: Well, actually sir, it's not the same thing, see a debit card is linked to a checking account, which has a limit of how much funds you have in that particular account, and a credit card is linked to a major line of credit, usually thousands of dollars you essentially BORROW.
Angry Douche: NO THIS IS A CREDIT CARD. I RUN IT AS CREDIT ALL THE TIME.
Me: While it is possible to run a debit card as credit as a pinless transaction, on our end we have to distinguish between a real credit card and a debit-check card, because on a credit card we can place a hold, and on a check card, we ---
Douche: ---- ITS A CREDIT CARD
Me: Alright, Ma'am, since your name is on this rental reservation, may I use your card instead?
Wife: Here honey, its a debit card. Do what you need to do.
Me: Ok, you guys, lets get some signature---
Douche: Ain't no you guys about this, this is her deal. I'm not got anything to do with this.
Me: WELL, FOR SOMEONE WITH NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS RENTAL YOU SURE HAVE BEEN TAKING AN ACTIVE ROLE IN THIS PROCESS.
Wife: Harold, she's right. Go sit your ass down.
The Slavs are kind of the Mexicans of Europe….– A brief geography lesson just now.
It’s like we’re built for suffering
It's just like tom cruise
My friend Jico asked me last night why I love living alone so much. The best way to describe it is that scene from Risky Business with Tom Cruise dancing in his spankies. It’s just like that.