January 2012
15 posts
traumatic dream of the day
last night i dreamt I watched a man with no arms and no legs try to back flip in his wheelchair and instead he just fell off a cliff. right in front of me.
challenge
let us dare to love fearlessly and shamelessly.
always tell the people in your life how important they are, and how much you cherish them, even if it is scary. and not simply with the occasional “heart” “like” or “poke”.
may someone you love know this without a doubt, every minute of the day, and not just because you say it, in so many words.
stop. never...
The fact that by entering someone’s life you’re just creating an opportunity to leave a big gaping hole later, if you leave, is just fuckjng scary.
Seeing the damage once is enough to really make you consider the weight of ever opening up again. Hurting people sucks and I’d really like to avoid it in the future.
Friend: I found your tumblr. Thought it would be unfair not to tell you.
Me: that's where I hide my crazy, you know...
Well damn
I had a dream I watched a vanpool of friends or classmates get into a high speed wreck and flip and burst into flames.
crying again
packing some of your things up for you. in a nice way, not an angry or mean way.
found a book i had gotten for you when i was convinced you were the man i would marry.
you never read it.
made me cry for the 8th time today.
hurt
walking in to this apartment, now unoccupied by you, is so painful.
it smells different.
i will need to move very soon; I cannot bear to be here now.
your DVDs still sitting on the shelf give me a mild amount of comfort, but I know that will soon be gone too.
long before there was a brett+hannah, there was a hannah who had a handful of issues. one of the issues i will never be able to...
Don't say I never think of anyone but myself...
Turning around on my way to work and driving back to my apartment to put away my vibrator because I know you’ll probably drop in later to get some things. That’s thoughtful, right?
Dreams
I don’t put a ton of stock into dream interpretation, but I have been having some truly fucked up dreams. Dreams about rape, suicide, and murder.
I had a dream a friend killed herself.
I had a dream I was being raped.
And I had a dream in which someone had an aviary of exotic parrots and they all got along until I came over and pet just one or two of them, and then right before my eyes...
Chemo
Just found out my mom has cancer. No one told me. I heard third-hand through Facebook. She hasn’t spoken to me in 5 years.
What. The. Fuck.
1 tag
Orphaned again
So I’m at this great roller derby boot camp right now. It’s awesome. But everyone is here with teammates, and I am what’s called a “derby orphan”. I don’t really have a team anymore. I left one league on 3 out of 10 scale drama. That is, I told them I was leaving because the culture and vibe was becoming hostile and toxic. A few of shitty people there tried...
“If I was a muscleman movie star, I’d have orgies. And if maybe some people...”
– Brett, on Arnold Schwarzenegger 