March 2012
22 posts
“Not to have the most boring conversation in the world, but I’m surprised...”
Lunch dialogue
Verizon guy: hey what do you guys do for lunch?
Me: we don't eat.
Verizon guy: yeah it looks like you don't eat actually.
Optional
For Italy, they asked if I want a private room, one roommate, or an apartment with up to 5people total.
I don’t want to lose out on the friends-for-life-that-met-@-study-abroad thing, so I didn’t request a private room. But do I want to share an apartment with one other person or 4 other people??
I’m not expecting any traveling pants nonsense but….is it realistically...
Me: -_- defeated again
Me: these gluten free pretzels are so *real*. Makes you wonder why they even use gluten in pretzels to begin with!
My boss: maybe, if you were eating a real pretzel, you wouldn't ask that question.
Yeah that
Ever wish you could break your ankle just walking down the street, so you could feel something more intense than the crushing pain you’re currently afflicted?
“First one to touch the girl wins!”
– 9 year old boy to his brother. They just summed up the meaning of life.
“I told the table of cops over there eatin that you’re allergic to wheat...”
– Waitress, after sharing my allergy with the entire restaurant.
It really takes weeks to get all the guys to come out of the woodworks and try to hang with me.
It’s crazy.
Last night: Haven’t heard from you in more than a year and all of a sudden you’d like to come over at 3am? No thank you.
Two-Three weeks ago: You’re having trouble with your girlfriend and you knew after hearing I was single that i’d understand?...
Intervention
Sometimes willpower isn’t enough.
“He is not to them what he is to me,” I thought: “he is not of their...”
– Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte.
Are you smiling at me because you realize I just farted or because you haven’t yet realized I farted?
Call me Summer, but that just makes you Tom.
“The important thing is this: to be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are...”
– Charles Dickens (via thecultofgenius)
I’ve always loved Dickens.
Vain self-esteem brag.
I now weigh 125 pounds.
3 months ago I was 135.
No reason to live
Me: if I were allergic to wheat AND dairy, I would kill myself!
Callie: no you wouldn't, you'd be me.
[awkward silence]
“What did wheat ever do to you? All the best things are made if wheat. You...”
– Carly
My luck
A wheat allergy would happen to a girl who made fun of people with allergies and freezer-required gluten-free bread eaters her whole life.
That would be me now. I stopped eating wheat when I started cutting out all severely processed foods, and my skin cleared up and got really pretty, so I kept not eating wheat products.
Now if I eat a sandwich I feel drunk…as drunk as if I’ve...
I see a cute photo of you and I’m angry. Angry that things got fucked up.
I’d like to say it was your fault.
You neglected me in ways.
You neglected yourself in ways too.
I’m happier without you I think, it just sucks to be reminded of how cute you are.
